Thursday, November 12, 2015

KC3 Essay Draft

As we all know Hawaii is apart of the United States because of signatures and overthrows that happened long ago. But physically, Hawaii is surrounded by ocean. Hawaii would need to import what is needed and export what it could offer, although it would cost way more to import because of the remote location; in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. 90% of the goods here is imported and only 15% of what is locally grown here is exported, this could be a potential problem for the state of Hawaii, although some say it is not a problem at all. With more being imported that means more money spent. Hawaii depends on the mainland for most of imported goods but also exports enough to sustain itself.

Importing too much for Hawaii could lead to bad economy. Hawaii imports just about everything we need. For example we spend $98 million to import goods from Canada alone. Most of it is spent on aircraft and fuel oil. Hawaii imports, cars, electronics, food, gas, etc. Say if something were to happen to all the places Hawaii imports from and we can no longer buy from there. Hawaii would not be sustainable to live by itself. We would live off of some dairy, meats, and produce. Hawaii would not be sustainable without its imports.

15% of Hawaii’s goods is locally grown and exported. In 2010 Hawaii only exported 48,000 cattle head. Which was a decrease since the year before. If Hawaii could only sell 48,000 cattle head then how could they export any of the other goods. Although Hawaii does export most do what is made here. The two most valuable crops that are exported is sugar cane and pineapples. Along with these crops Hawaii offers many fruits and vegetable, which most of is exported. Hawaii does not really provide much for themselves. Although Hawaii only exports 15% of the crops, they do make a lot of crops.

Trade, the importing and exporting, of Hawaii is very important to the amount of money we give and make. In Hawaii there are about 200,000 jobs that help with trade. In the year 2013 Hawaii has exported $697 billion of goods, most that include produce. This $697 billion comes from the 151 other countries that buy goods from Hawaii. In the past couple years the number of exports has increased for hawaii. In the year 2013 there were a total 889 companies that contributed to exporting which is a 15% increase from 2003. Without these trades Hawaii wouldn’t have enough money to sustain itself.

Hawaii imports 90% of the goods and grows and 15% that we make is exported. There has been decreases and increases of income in the terms of trade. Hawaii depends on the mainland for most of imported goods and exports enough to sustain itself. Hawaii may import a lot of its goods but they also export most of the goods we make.

3 comments:

  1. This essay is really good because the information is really smooth, and you weren't lacking any ideas. The thesis is clearly presented and extremely well supported with a variety of convincing and credible ideas and reasons and relevant, specific evidence. You forgot to indent on the last paragraph. Good job (:

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  2. Your essay was very informative and easy to follow. All of your facts were related to your thesis. However, I think that in the third paragraph, you should say how much of a decrease the cattle head was. Then, that gives the reader an idea of how little Hawaii exports. Also, try to put your evidence in quotation marks so we know it came from a credible source and that you're not just making it up. Your thesis statement is a little confusing, so you should put a definition of importing and exporting in your introduction. Overall, good job! You had good facts, and I liked how you stuck to either importing or exporting in your paragraphs. (2nd was about importing and 3rd/4th were about exporting.) Also, I liked how you summarized the main points of your essay in your conclusion.

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  3. YOU NEEDED TO FOLLOW CHUNKY PARAGRAPH FORMAT FOR THE BODY PARAGRAPHS. THERE IS EITHER NOT ENOUGH REASONING OR NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE IN THE BODY PARAGRAPHS. YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE DISCUSSION IS THOROUGH AND COMPLETE. CONCLUSION IS MISSING MANY KEY ELEMENTS AS WELL. AS(2-)

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